In the past two weeks.

I watched a bus driver texting while driving.

I went to the shortstop for a beer and realized I was apart of a full fledged lesbian dance party.

I fell up stairs and hit my face on a iron gate.

I realized its time to buy some heels.

I've started to plan Christmas.

I threw out an entire half of a tuna melt.

I heard the sentence "How could he do this to me, its pride weekend for crying out loud".

I talked to a guy about kung fu and speed balling.